Peter Nicholls

  Does this picture fit you?

• sleeplessness
• being angry a little too often
• frequent frustration
• increased absenteeism from work
• presenteeism (going to work when you were so sick you should have stayed home)
• reduced concern for customers/ clients
• emotional exhaustion
• a reduced sense of accomplishment
• unable to switch off from work

These are some of the pains you feel when the demands of work and personal life are all too much for you. They can be summed up in one word – stress.

The hidden danger is in the insidious effects of such symptoms, the outcomes of which may not surface for months or even years. But if left unattended, the wheels can eventually fall off, often in dramatic and life-diminishing ways. These include stress-related illnesses, heart conditions, relationship breakdowns, job loss and depression.

When you are not enjoying life, it often seems hard to change things around. The following seven steps may, however, make the task easier for you.

1. The first step is always the most difficult – deciding you really want to take action and do something productive to ease your work/life pain. Once you’ve made that decision, you’ll enjoy the rest of the process.
2. Create your own enjoyment. Sounds a bit trite? There’s more to what I call "the enjoyment factor" than first meets the eye.  Enjoyment:
   • Is a creatable experience from which fun, laughter and pleasure are automatic reactions. If you’re not enjoying life, you’re unlikely to achieve the positive frame of mind needed to resolve your work life harmony problems.
   • Is a natural mechanism for coping with stress, because your mind is unconsciously transported to a world within the real you – your authentic self – a world in which you feel relaxed, de-stressed and at peace with yourself. Your problems are put on hold.
   • Heightens your sense of self esteem, self confidence, self belief and feelings of self worth. When your mind returns to the real world, the heightened feelings flow, like a ripple effect, through every thing else you do. The intensity of the enjoyable experience will determine how long and how wide the ripple effect will extend. It can even trigger a new outlook on life.
3. Do it often, even if only for a few minutes at a time. The more often you create your chosen enjoyable experiences, the better your chances of stabilizing your thinking and your ability to juggle your responsibilities. You might be surprised how much this can help you review how and where you allocate your energies.
4. You can create enjoyment at work, home and play. Play (any personally chosen discretionary interest that you undertake just for enjoyment) has for too long been undervalued regarding its benefits to work and other responsibilities of life. Much stress comes from a lack of control over what happens to you, the changes being imposed on you and the expectations demanded of you. Discretionary interests – play, leisure, recreation, sport, "time for me", call it what you will – is perhaps your last bastion of total control and freedom of choice. The more often you get control of your life through leisure interests that you love, the better you will be able to survive and thrive in today’s frenetic lifestyle.
5. Enjoyable experiences generate new emotional energy to replace the energy burnt by your stress. A lot of the pain of a discordant work life mix is you are trying to burn energy you simply don’t have. It’s not rocket science to realize that you need to replace burnt energy. Resting isn’t enough. A car needs more than regular refuelling – its longevity requires regular care and maintenance. It’s the same with you.
6. Create leisure experiences that are not only enjoyable but are opposite – or at least quite different – to those experienced at work. If you work in a busy and noisy environment, a quiet, perhaps solitary, experience may help, if the work is intellectual then create enjoyable physical or manual experiences. The emphasis here is on experiences of the mind that make you feel good about yourself, irrespective of whether the interest is physical or mental. In the final analysis, every enjoyable experience is of the mind.
7. Fit it into the week’s busy schedule. Enjoyment isn’t limited to weekends, joining clubs, or any other of the old leisure traditions. It’s about doing your own thing whenever and wherever you wish, at any time of the day or night and on any day of the week.

   A few minutes of ‘flight’ can sustain a day of ‘fight’ if, during that time, your inner person is allowed out to enjoy the freedom of self-expression. Self-created interests can include musical appreciation by listening or playing, art, craft, beading, genealogy, bird-watching, walking for pleasure, gardening – anything that transports your thinking into your own world of enjoyment. When you lose yourself in an interest you love you find yourself – the person of worth within you.

These factors do not of themselves overcome a discordant work life mix. They do however generate a more positive attitude, in which you feel good about yourself. You are establishing a revitalized outlook on life that strengthens your self-confidence. Your problems either don’t seem so great any more, or you perceive them more calmly and with a sense of personal power in your ability to make your daily life more enjoyable.

In the final analysis these steps will enable you to become a better friend to the most important person in the world – you!

Article Source: http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com | http://performance-management.bestmanagementarticles.com | About the Author: Peter Nicholls is Australia’s People Gardener – cultivating vigorous personal growth to thrive to one’s full natural potential. Visit Peter’s website at http://www.workleisure.com or contact him at peter@workleisure.com

Sheila Hawkins

“To do two things at once- is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus, 100 A.D., Roman philosopher

This quote is so true. There are times that multitasking can work for you, but not when it becomes a way of life. The truth of the matter is that multitasking has become a way of life. Even our children are multitasking. Today’s fast pace and work environment almost demands that we do so. We answer email while we talk or while in meetings, we talk on the phone while we drive, and so on, thinking that we’re getting more done, but that isn’t necessarily true. For instance, talking on the phone while driving can impair your driving more than having had two drinks. Try texting behind the wheel and you are five times more likely to have an accident.

Research shows an even worse effect in the office. One study revealed that when workers were interrupted by email, it took 15 minutes for them to get back on track. That adds up quickly. The average person gets interrupted once every eight minutes. That’s almost eight interruptions every hour. Let’s say that once every hour someone allows themselves to be interrupted by email and that it takes 5 minutes to reply to email and then the 15 minutes to get back on track. That’s 20 minutes for every hour this happens. If it happens every hour, it adds up to almost 14 hours every week.

Our brain is simply not wired for multitasking; it’s wired to focus on one thing. We are not wired to do two independent things that require conscious thought especially when they involve different goals. Multitasking limits the kinds of information the brain can process and actually changes brain activity. When we focus on more than one activity at a time, there is a 20-30% loss in the total time it takes to complete two separate things. It ends up taking longer to do those separate things while multitasking than it would if we focused on them one at a time. We pay the price of wasting our precious time and having the quality of our work decrease.

The key to avoiding multitasking is to have control by properly prioritizing your tasks. So let’s look at ways to help you prevent multitasking. Have 1-2 priority tasks per day. Work on the most important task first and do nothing else until it’s done with the exception of taking short breaks to stretch or grab water or a quick snack. Then move to the next important task.

While you’re engaged in completing those tasks, avoid distractions. Turn off email notifications and whenever possible, the phone too. Set specific times to check email and to make and return phone calls. Place new items that come your way while you’re working in your inbox and tend to them later. It may take a bit of time have these actions become habits, but it will pay off in the long run.

There are some times when multitasking does work. If you’re doing things of a creative nature, problem solving or other things that require conscious thought, don’t multitask. Save multitasking for things like cleaning house or doing laundry while you talk on the phone and other low key activities.

Divided attention between major tasks results in less focus on each task at hand, poor results and wasted time. Be in the habit of making the time to prioritize the things on your to-do list and sticking to only 1-2 priority tasks to complete each day. Doing so will keep you on track with your tasks, increasing your level of productivity and will keep you from wasting your precious time.

©2008 Sheila Hawkins

Article Source: http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com | http://time-management.bestmanagementarticles.com

About the Author: Sheila Hawkins of Third Eye Group has been dubbed the Do it in Time Diva because of her time management expertise. She is also known for her excellent organizing skills and her ability to personalize environments and systems that she creates for her clients. Her Company provides customized professional organizing services and products. Services are tailored to the needs and personality of the client helping them transform environments and behaviors.

Dr. Paul Lanthois

As I came back from the business meeting, my wife noticed the glazed and drained look upon my face. “How did the business meeting go?” she asked with a knowingly grin upon her face for she had seen that look on me before.

“No wonder the guy’s business is struggling.” I replied.
“Why is that?”
“What was meant to be a meeting on how to boost his business, ended up with him going on about how his wife has left him and how his business partner has left him. When I offered some suggestions and strategies to improve them, he would just come up with reasons why it wouldn’t work. It was as if he just wanted to complain and wasn’t open to any help.”

I’m sure you all know people like that or have had to endure such draining meetings like I did. The way they choose to manage stress may make them feel better but it is often at the expense of those around them.

But recent research is showing that such stress management methods are not only draining for other people but are also draining on their wallet. A study of the lives of 268 Harvard Sophomores for 70 years found that the way that you coped with stress had a definite impact on your income potential.

They assessed the participants’ ability to manage stress as either mature or immature. Displays of these skills were regarded as having mature stress management skills:

• Suppression (patience and stoicism)
• Altruism (doing unto others as you wish to be done for yourself)
• Anticipation (allowing painful emotions coming to mind before the actual event)

Immature stress management skills were shown to be:

• Externalising blame
• Complaining but not accepting help
• Acting out emotions (e.g. throwing a tantrum)

These immature ways of coping with stress often make the offending feel better at the time but often generate unhappy working environments and relationships. The research shows that ranting and raving doesn’t pay.

According to this 70 year study, people who were shown to have mature stress management skills earned 233% more the subjects shown to have immature stress management skills.

So if you ever notice yourself bitching about how the Global financial Crisis is to blame for your woes, you may want to go and look at the real cause in the mirror. You then may want to tell that person in the mirror that it is time to grow up.

This study puts paid to the old adage, “Nice guys finish last.” It shows that being pleasant to work with and associate with is one of the key ingredients to a successful career and business.

Article Source: http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com | http://leadership.bestmanagementarticles.com | About the Author: Dr. Lanthois is the director of the Work Life Balance Foundation (www.WorkLifeBalanceFoundation.com ) offering health, stress relief and work life balance programs designed specifically to boost morale and productivity in the workplace.

What leadership is not: It is not Management. Management is working with and through people and groups to accomplish organizational goals. Leadership is influencing human behaviour, regardless of the goal.

A leader is first of all a person who serves people. In order to lead, people need to know that you care about them. You show you care by excellent service to them.

A leader has a mission that matters. Leaders become impassioned by a vision of an improvement in people’s lives and that passion becomes a driving force.

A leader is a great thinker. Without big thinking, we’d have no big results — and very few small ones. It is the big thinking of leaders that moves humanity forward. They are able to see people, places and things in a bigger and better light than currently exists. They see potential. They seek opportunity. They find answers before others have asked the questions.

Big, productive thinking flows from a fully functional imagination. Creative thinkers have open minds to all thoughts — they don’t judge or reject ideas prematurely or automatically. Leaders and big thinkers can literally change the world because they believe they can. That belief comes from a deep faith in themselves and others. People often don’t have that faith in themselves, so they welcome and gladly follow a leader who does have that faith and vision.

A leader has high ethics. Ethics are high standards of honest and honourable dealings based on our morals. Ethics are a set of basic working tenets for life and business. How we act and what we do, our methods of functioning, and how we apply our morals is our ethical behaviour. Ethics are APPLICATION. To live by your own ethical standards, you must first be clear what they are. Life is more fast-paced than ever before. “Winning” and getting ahead and making lots of money have become the common measures of success and, too often, that means “no matter what the cost.” Ethics are all too-often compromised on personal and professional levels.

A leader is a change Master. Communication, travel, science and technology — the reasons behind our “shrinking world” — have meant that change happens at exponential speed in our times. That means all change, positive and negative, designed and accidental. We must adapt — or become extinct. Extinction may take the form of products that are unmarketable, management styles that are ineffective, systems that are pointless, or relationships that are meaningless.
There will be times when change happens that is out of your control — maybe not even foreseen by you. There will be other times when you create change for the benefit of your vision and the people you lead. In either case, you cannot determine how other people will change or react, but you can impact their openness and receptivity. Provide new information to expand your followers’ thinking. Show them how their lives or work may become easier, more efficient, more pleasant, etc. once the change is in place. Provide new ideas to spark their creativity and broaden their horizons. Help them to imagine what things would be like with the change in place — how much better (and not so bad) than they had first thought. Create an open door by brainstorming and considering the possibilities.

Provide new experiences to build a desire for a belief in the value of change. Introduce “tests” or “examples” of what the change might mean for people to “try out.” Perhaps your situation would be appropriate for people to go see another environment with the change in place — so they can experience it for themselves.

A leader is sensitive. In any type of leadership role, you will be more effective by incorporating sensitivity to economic policy, government regulations, quality control, excellent service, trends, and so forth. Equally important is a sensitivity to the people you are leading. You can only be as effective as are the people you are leading. By supporting them on issues important to them, you are nurturing their effectiveness.

Leaders who can make a difference understand that people return value when they are valued. When they see a connection between their personal goals and those of an organization, they will work very hard to further the organization’s goals. Your sensitivity to people will help you match the right person to the right job or task. It will help you take an appropriate amount of risk to set an example for others and help them gain confidence in their own actions. People become renewed and fulfilled when their leader is able to help them deliver their own best performances. Leaders today work WITH people to empower them to bring out their best abilities, whereas leaders used to do things TO people to elevate their status.

A leader is a risk taker. There wouldn’t be much point in having a mission to make a difference and all the right big ideas if we didn’t have the courage to take a few risks to make it happen. Without risk, many of the big ideas would never even be possible and results would never materialize. Quite simply, the risk is the glue between a big idea and turning it into reality.

Risk means that you may suffer harm or loss as a result of taking certain actions. Sometimes that harm is serious physical danger, but more often it is a fear of failure and ridicule in the eyes of friends and associates. It’s important to have a strong belief in what you’re doing, so that the risk of criticism or ridicule don’t matter enough to hold you back.

A leader is a Decision Maker. Until decisions to take action are made, all you have is ideas and potential. At its worst, indecisiveness wastes time, effort, money, energy, and…life. Smart leaders understand that the wrong decision is better than no decision at all. And, NOT deciding actually is a decision, but for all the wrong reasons. As difficult as it may be to decide, when you determined to lead, you chose to be a decision maker. Decisions give birth to action, excitement and results. Indecision gives birth to regret.

A leader has Power. By using your power to empower others will foster confidence them. The result will be more energy and efficiency on the team. People will trust themselves when they see that you have entrusted them with power. They’ll be bigger thinkers and maybe develop into leaders themselves. You will bring out the best and the potential of people when you empower them to take action. Wise leaders who support others by sharing power find that their own personal power grows in terms of loyalty and respect.

Those who covet power and hold it close become dictatorial, authoritative, and….alienated. When power is shared, it grows; when it is guarded, it vanishes. Wise leaders also know that true power is not flaunted or forced. Effective leaders don’t intimidate or “pull rank.”

Effective power is typically used quietly, through persuasion, cooperation, respect, and example. Power at its dynamic best is used when it is needed, in emergencies and crises. Its value is in creating support for people and projects, rather than tearing them down.

A leader communicates effectively. Without effective communication, you simply won’t be able to make a difference. Good communicators have two things going for them — SKILL and PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, which takes the form of attitude and passion. Just as you don’t know what’s going on if you don’t see it first-hand, you will be totally out of touch if you don’t LISTEN to the people.

Listening is the way you learn what’s going on — and how people are being affected. More often than not, when there are problems in an organization, the leader hasn’t paid attention well enough to hear about them until it’s too late. Learn the art of communication from experts.

A leader is a team builder. One of the most rewarding aspects of leadership is to contribute to and watch people grow into their own potential. As they solve problems, build skills and reach goals, you’ll realize that you’re actually making a difference with them. You’ll soon learn that most people are just waiting to be asked to help make a difference on the planet. The best way to do this together is with teams. Attract the right people and then motivate and train them and you’ll be on your way to making a big difference.

A leader is courageous. The role of leaders has become global, demanding the courage to act in the best interests of the people in our country and around the planet. Courage also inspires followers. As they see their leader go down difficult paths, face danger, make sacrifices, stand up for their beliefs, and remain true to their strengths and instincts, followers also become more courageous and strong.

A leader is committed. People who have a fear of commitment can never be a leader. A leader is committed to his followers and to show the above traits.

Article Source: http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com | http://leadership.bestmanagementarticles.com

About the Author: Summary of Sheila Murray Bethel’s book with the same title If you are interested in learning leadership, communication and relationship skills, visit us here.

As human beings, we have a natural tendency to want to be loved. But what happens when your desire to be loved interferes with your ability to lead?

People who gravitate toward leadership roles tend to be charismatic. They work hard at keeping their audiences captivated and enjoy the adoration they receive from their followers. This is all fine and good, until their desire to be liked, or even loved, begins to cloud their judgment. Here are some examples of how this can play out:

Colleagues rather than subordinates.

In their quest to be liked, leaders drop their guards and become more informal with their employees than they should be. An example of this is when a leader joins his staff at Happy Hour. There is nothing wrong with sharing a beer with the team. However, things can quickly get out of hand when one beer leads to a six-pack. Before you know it, managers are sharing drinking stories from their college days. Throw in a few shots of tequila, and all bets are off.

To effectively lead, your followers must have a high regard for you. Sure, they may look up to you all evening, but will they still respect you in the morning?

Communicating versus commiserating

It is lonely at the top. There are few people who you can confide in regarding your hopes and fears. It can happen to the best of leaders – eventually they stop communicating and start commiserating with their executive team and sometimes with staff.

In these trying times, your team is looking for a leader. Someone who they are confident will be able to steer their ship through these choppy waters. The last thing they need to hear is a leader expressing doubt. If you find that you need a sounding board, consider hiring an executive coach or joining an association. Then be sure you return to the business of communicating the information employees need to hear, so when you turn around, you actually have people following you.

Are you doing too much for your employees?

Are you constantly picking up the slack for members of your team who are not cutting it? When doing so, do you take the time to explain how they can improve their performance? Or do you simply decide it is easier to do things yourself to avoid more conflict?

Conflict fuels improved performance and innovation. It can also strengthen relationships when both parties have an opportunity to have their say. Think about your own personal relationships – do you have more respect and adoration for those who are willing to call you on your actions, or for those that avoid conflict?

It is nice to be loved, but as a leader, it is more important to be respected.

© 2009 Human Resource Solutions. All rights reserved.

Article Source:  http://www.bestmanagementarticles.com  |  http://leadership.bestmanagementarticles.com

About the Author: Roberta Chinsky Matuson is the President of Human Resource Solutions (www.yourhrexperts.com) and has been helping companies align their people assets with their business goals. She is considered an expert in generational workforce issues. Click here to read her new blog on Generation Integration http://generationintegration.typepad.com/matuson/. She can be reached at 413-582-1840 or Roberta@yourhrexperts.com.